Are we in a gay sports bar?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
