Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
