halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
