Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
