I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
