I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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