I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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