There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
