I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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