actually, I'm a sock model
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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