I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
