you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
