Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
