she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
