It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
