just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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