she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
