I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize