He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
