Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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