The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
