You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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