I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
