whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
