Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So many bounce houses so little time
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
