The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The struggles of a small town man whore
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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