Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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