Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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