Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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