Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
