He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
