Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
