Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
