I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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