Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
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