what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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