Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
