this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
