Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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