I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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