i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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