i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
