You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I have post one night stand depression
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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