Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
