in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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