Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
