He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
