Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Someone came in the potted fern
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
