This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
