Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
