i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
