I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
