On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
