You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
