were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
