Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
