The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
