He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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