And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
