Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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