It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
