My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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