Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
